Ashley Bouder has been a Principal dancer at New York City Ballet for 17 years. During the Covid-enforced closure of theatres she developed, what she called on Instagram, her “Covid body”, gaining 4.5 kilos (10 pounds). She said, “It's hard when you close fifth position and your legs just don't fit the same way. That's really mentally taxing and physically taxing to know that I've gone through this transformation to more of a ‘normal' body.” She returned in September 2022 for the NYCB fall season after recovering from a serious injury and several critics noticed she was dancing below par – at least for Bouder, who has lit up the company with her dazzling technique for almost two decades. She wrote, “This injury, after the long covid break, sent me for a loop, both physically and mentally. It's been a difficult year for me in terms of my career choice, but I'm finally coming out on the other side. My body feels different. My mind is different. But I'm me. And I'm here. And I'll be back on the stage that I love.”
However, this is an image from her Instagram stories posted last night (New York time), 13 November, and as it is still online it was no momentary rage at a situation that looked different after a good night's sleep. She's angry and hurt.
Bouder wrote (over a photo of her obviously upset):
Just had a board member tell me (for the second time) that they don't mind the extra weight on me. But maybe it's time I look to a new career.
Body shaming? Ageism? What is this? I'm not 40 yet and I've just endured covid plus a possible career ending injury. WTF?!?!!
Gramilano guest author, Matthew Paluch, writes:
No one has the right to speak to a person like that – even if you are on the Board of New York City Ballet. Talking about an individual's body and the need for them to start contemplating a career change. What planet are they on?
As many workplaces are learning, new procedures are now being proposed, accepted and welcomed to confront sensitive areas (with the new role of the intimacy director in theatre and film, for example) and they are found to be valid and helpful, and above all are being put in place to protect the workers. No one throws bricks around randomly on a building site saying, “Well, if someone gets hurt, it's just part of the job.” There are rules about handling potentially dangerous objects and hard-hats to protect a construction worker if something does go awry.
Matt says:
If difficult conversations need to be had – from either side – they should be done in a safe, professional environment. With the dancer, Artistic Director, and a representative of the HR Dept present. This is 2022.
It's totally inexcusable and, surprise surprise, it's happening in the context of a ballet company. Another abuse of the (already very questionable) pyramid scheme in action. That Board member should be hauled in front of the Executive Management and demanded to explain themselves, and if they can't give sound reasoning in relation to this ‘conversation' they should be out. ASAP.
In an interview during lockdown last March, Bouder (37 at the time) told The New York Times: “I definitely feel like I lost a year and I want that back.” Adding, “I'm definitely going to dance past 40, I don't want to just like come back and retire.”
Willpower can easily be undermined if those who are supposedly on your side – like the NYCB board member – destabilise your resolve with casual (or maybe not) comments.
Matt concludes:
Newsflash: there is no ‘sound reasoning' to this type of discrimination and shaming, and we all eagerly await NYCB's official statement about acceptable conduct in the workplace. Shocking and unsurprising but make individuals accountable.
Stop the patterns of learned behaviour.
Obliterate the systemic rot.
Graham Spicer is a writer, director and photographer in Milan, blogging (under the name ‘Gramilano') about dance, opera, music and photography for people “who are a bit like me and like some of the things I like”. He was a regular columnist for Opera Now magazine and wrote for the BBC until transferring to Italy.
His scribblings have appeared in various publications from Woman's Weekly to Gay Times, and he wrote the ‘Danza in Italia' column for Dancing Times magazine.
Matthew Paluch was awarded a place at The Royal Ballet School in 1990 where he graduated in 1997. His first four years as a professional dancer were spent working with London City Ballet, Scottish Ballet, K-Ballet and English National Ballet, becoming a full-time member of ENB until leaving in 2006.
Matthew graduated from the Royal Academy of Dance, Professional Dancers' Teaching Diploma in 2007, and is currently on faculty at The Royal Ballet School. He completed his Masters in Ballet Studies at Roehampton University in 2011 and has been a freelance writer since 2010. He is a Trustee (2021) of the Royal Academy of Dance and works in the Law Sector.
Regretfully we must develop thick skins to withstand the challenging, unwanted comments that we received.
Or perhaps people should contemplate what’s coming out of their mouths more. And further consider the context, and possible impact of their blasé comments. These are meant to be professional environments no?!
It IS a professional environment, and Ashley no longer meets the professional standards required by that environment. Her being replaced was the right move.
I’m sorry, but if you are a dnacer you are expected to look a certain way and do certain things. If you are a high-jumper you are not going to be kept on the Olympic team if you can no longer jump as high. It’s cruel but mathematical. If she were an author or a painter it would be a different story, but ballet, like sports, calls for the best physical specimens, or change company where interpretation, musicality, physical expression and so on are considered the overiding consideration. At NYCB you need a Balanchine body. Moreso, a Balanchine body version 2022.
Art/ballet isn’t sport. Humans are dancers not robots. The dance world needs a 2022 appropriate environment/safe practice model that’s acknowledged and adhered to.
Ballet isn’t sport, but the main instrument of ballet is the human body, and if the body isn’t in shape, you won’t be able to do your job at the level of excellency expected from you. Also, if you gain significant weight, you make it harder for your partner to lift you. Let’s spare a thought for his spine too, not only for her upset.
I agree. It’s entirely possible that NYCB does have an “environment/safe practice model” that’s adhered to….AND Ashley has gained too much weight to perform. Both can co-exist. Her throwing the company that made her a star under the bus, giving both it and her fellow dancers a bad name, because she gained 10 pounds, is a pretty crappy thing to do.
Dear Ashley Of Course you will get your figure back by doing your normal work again. Head up and go! I adore you and your Long Career. Best wishes, greatings and a hug, if you wish one. Susaane from Germany with love.
Is this new? No! I’ve heard and seen much worse in my days as a dancer. In all the companies I danced with. Directors asking dancers to have plastic surgery to keep their jobs, lose weight, within one year going from lead roles to character parts to push them “gently” towards the exit door. I even heard some who asked girls to have plastic surgery on their breast or nose at an audition and when they came back, the position had been filled… I’m not saying this is how things should be but with social media and internet things are getting a little too out of control!
I was a very slim guy and one day I was put on the notice board for being too fat (in red)… I just laughed, went to the director’s office and stood naked in front of him asking him to point out exactly where the fat was and that was it!
no big drama, song and dance… let’s go on with the show!
The fact it isn’t new IS the problem. And each to their own: but personally I wouldn’t advocate standing naked in front of an employer.
Actually the director who told a girl at an audition to come back after she had a nose job was someone we both worked for…
None the wiser.
I agree the member of the Board had NO business to make such remarks. If he felt it necessary to discuss the fitness level of NYCB dancers, he should have had this conversation with the Artistic Director of the company.
On the other hand, it seems that social media is now understood as panacea and self-therapy medium by some people. Have an upset, never mind what? Take a selfie, slap a fashionable catchphrase or two on it in bold and/or caps, seasoned with a couple of emoji, exclamation/question marks, and/or WFT’s if the size of the picture can accommodate extras, slogans guaranteed to trigger some people, and run with it to your Instagram. Has Bouder tried to talk with the HR Dept first? With the AD? I’m sorry, but this mania of washing your laundry online isn’t exactly proof of adulthood.
“I definitely feel like I lost a year and I want that back.” I’m sure she isn’t the only one who feels like that, but getting that year back isn’t just for the asking, you also have to be in shape for it.
Speaking of catchphrases, the two quotes at the end of the article are every bit as overused as Bouder’s. I understand that a writer has to wear many hats these days, but I don’t think they can wear “critic” and “activist” at the same time. From a critic I expect a measure of detachment and/or objectivity.
Thank you for such a considered and thorough comment. However, I think that Matt Paluch is entitled to do both amd not just review dance – this is a subject he feels passionately about. There is no dance criticism in this piece, but whatever, many writers will voice opinions about yellow face, programming policy, funding and so on, during a normal review.
After rereading this post I stand corrected (thank you), he didn’t wear both hats in this piece, it’s just activism.
I agree Matt Paluch is entitled to wear both hats, even together if he fancies so. Bouder is entitled to her hats as well. Off-hours the magnitude of personal entitlement is limited only by the law; when acting in professional capacity however, personal entitlement and strong passions are subjected to employer/owner’s approval first, unless the person has decision power over the company or venue.
The readers/public are entitled too, or rather cast in the role of arbiter elegantiae, having to decide whether the hats are becoming, individually or together ️. As with real fashion clothing, opinions vary, which is a good thing.
IMO Ashley Bouder has picked the wrong catchphrases for her piece of personal activism. Putting on weight because of injury followed by lack of exercise is unrelated to ageism, and being expected to adhere to the same fitness standards as the rest of the company isn’t body shaming. That being said, I maintain that the Board member had no business to talk to her as he did. Nor did Bouder herself any favors by going straight for an online meltdown with bells and whistles instead of talking to HR and AD first.
It is good to see posting on this platform back to pre-Covid levels, thank you.
The emoji at the end of the sentence ending with the words “… becoming, individually or together” got lost in translation. I mention this just to make it clear that that sentence was written half in jest.
This is supposed to be against NYCB policy. I know that I read somewhere about Wendy Whelan saying they have a strict protocol if they need to talk w a dancer about his/her weight, not in the open, must be 2 people, etc
I am going against the grain here and saying I disagree with what Ashley is doing and saying. Ten pounds is a lot of weight. It changes the way your body looks and feels and moves, and it doesn’t matter if you are starting from 100 pounds and going to 110, or starting from 130 and going to 140; it’s going to change how you look and how you move. Ashley is in a business that cares a great deal about how she looks and how she moves. Whether that is right or wrong is a separate issue.
I also think it’s a little bit delusional to think that you are so special that you won’t lose your job if you can no longer perform it in a way that meets the standards set by the organization. They’re not unfair standards. That’s just the way the business is done. I didn’t see Ashley complaining about these standards when she was cast in principal roles night after night. To complain about them now, only when she no longer meets them, is a slap in the face to the employer (NYCB) who made you a star.
Finally, she needs to stop using her daughter as a pitching point. Yes, this world is cruel to women, and the way we are judged on our appearance is appalling. However, there are exceptions. Ballet is one of them. If Ashley doesn’t want to be judged by her appearance, she should not be a ballet dancer. And she should not be enrolling her daughter in modeling, as I understand she has done. Ashley mentions how she had to sit in the audience with her daughter, sobbing while somebody else danced her part. What was this teaching her daughter? Well, it was teaching her that you don’t get special treatment just because you’re Ashley Bouder, for starters. Ashley seems to think that anybody else being front and center is a huge injustice. What message is that sending to her daughter? Not a good one.
Bottom line: Ashley’s worth as a human being did not go down at all when she gained 10 pounds. Her worth as a ballet dancer did.
I’m guessing the reason none of Ashley’s fellow dancers supported her Instagram post is because she is throwing them and NYCB under the bus because she gained 10 lbs and is angry she’s being replaced. Ashley Bouder not getting to dance Symphony in C is not the huge social injustice she would have you believe in her teary IG posts. A bank teller, dentist, or painter who gets fired because of their weight? That’s a social injustice. A ballet dancer who is being paid to present a certain line to the audience getting fired because she no longer can present that line? That’s fair.
I am sorry Ashley is so upset about her appearance. I would be upset about my appearance, too, if I gained 10 lbs. But I strongly disagree with the way she is going about it expressing her frustration at something that she, and she alone, is responsible for. NYCB gave her a job and made her a star. She has danced every principal role there is with the exception of Diamonds. She knew the rules, and didn’t object to them until she could no longer follow them. And now she’s blaming her employer, her fellow dancers, and even audience members like me for not wanting to see her on stage. It’s a really shitty thing to do, and the more teary IG posts I see from her, the less sympathy I have for her. No wonder none of her colleagues are supporting her.
Should ballet be more open to men and women of different body types? Maybe. Does society judge women unfairly based on their appearance? Without a doubt. And these are platforms I would gladly see Ashley Bouder, and others, explore in the future. But you don’t get to reap all the benefits of having a certain body type for 20+ years, and then get angry when those benefits are no longer available to you because you no longer have that body type. Shame on NYCB? No. Shame on YOU, Ashley Bouder.
Personally I think the point is being lost.
The original purpose of the article was far less about content, and much more about conduct. Some of you only believe Bouder is to blame. And have no sympathy with how she’s handled the situation. I ask this: should there even have been a situation to handle?! Individuals and careers have ups and downs – that’s natural, especially in such a demanding sector as dance. But things can, and should be handled completely differently. That board member had no right to speak to her about her physique or career – period. I believe she went public as she assumed nothing would be taken seriously enough if only discussed in-house. I’m also amazed that people think weight gain, or body changes are purely physical. Bouder, like all of us had the pandemic to deal with and a very serious injury. The psychological impact of both of those is huge. Yet she persevered – and wanted to return to the studio and stage. And what has she been met with? Completely inappropriate conduct and continued disparaging comments. She deserves better. The sector needs to do more. And all involved need to contemplate their points of reference – perhaps it’s more than aesthetics needing to be discussed. Perhaps it’s a total rethink of the associated value system. And for the record I definitely saw NYCB members repost videos of Bouder doing Dewdrop. A clear demonstration of empathy and solidarity.
I have no problems with Bouder gaining 10 lbs. And I agree it was wrong for the board member to say what he/she said, outside the standard protocol for discussing weight issues.
I do, however, have a problem with Bouder going online, disparaging an employer who has been VERY good to her for 20+ years, criticizing her colleagues for not sharing her post (after accusing them of giving her dirty looks in class) and using her 6-year old daughter to get sympathy votes. And then, one day later, posting a video of her rehearsing Sugar Plum and encouraging everyone to come watch her on December 2. I guess all is okay as long as she’s in the spotlight?
You say Ashley deserves better. You know who else deserves better? New York City Ballet. They didn’t do anything wrong. They are a business. They have to put people on stage who are going to sell tickets. They have to be fair to the other dancers, all of whom went through Covid, all of whom want to perform just as much as Ashley does. They were right to pull her from Symphony in C. And if they weren’t right to pull her from Symphony in C, they would certainly be within their rights to pull her from Nutcracker for going viral accusing them of both ageism and body shaming.
I would bought a ticket for December 2 with her 10 lbs heavier. I won’t be buying a ticket, however, with her throwing NYCB and her fellow dancers under the bus.
Learned behaviour needs to be called out.
Institutions with unacceptable, ongoing systemic patterning need to be called out.
Often senior management in these environments have little experience of anything/anywhere else.
Let’s remember that HR departments are there primarily to protect the employer not the employee.
Let’s not forget how Wendy Whelan was treated by Martins, and subsequently NYCB. All clearly documented on Restless Creature.
Let’s not disregard Abbi Stafford’s recent departure.
If individuals don’t call out wrongdoings how would anything evolve?
Do we just want ‘appropriate’ looking dancers on stage, or dancers who have been supported and elevated to show their best work? Physically AND mentally.
I’d propose Bouder’s Sugarplum post isn’t about her craving attention personally – but rather about bringing much needed attention and ongoing dialogue about her/the situation.
The dance studio/stage isn’t like many other working environments. The body is the tool therefore up for discussion. By the performer that inhabits it, the staff who observe and correct it, the audience who pay to see it perform.
But that body has a brain, and soul, is delicate, and deserves respect.
Even more so when going through tough times.
Where’s the respect?
Where’s the support?
This shouldn’t be about comparison – it should be about the individual.
That’s what makes a dancer special.
There’s only one Ashley Bouder.
And she’s asking some important questions.
Are you Ashley Bouder? Bc I feel like the only person taking the time to argue “there’s only one Ashley Bouder” is … Ashley Bouder in some kind of sunset boulevard esque spiraling ? I really hope you’re not, that would be tragic lol.
You got me. But for future reference: where are the other Ashley Bouders?! Cheers, Norma.
The only thing I can say about Abi Stafford’s departure is that it was overdue. She had been underperforming for a long time.
Lol, you accuse her of doing NYCB wrong but now you’re punishing them by not buying a ticket!
I will buy a ticket. It will just be for another show.
That video of Ashley doing Dewdrop (and I agree she was excellent) was filmed in 2011, when she was in considerably better shape. If NYCB colleagues have been posting it, perhaps it was to encourage her to get back in shape and become the dancer she once was. (And so far as I know, she has not yet been cast as Dewdrop in the upcoming Nutcracker season).
Have you seen her dance recently? I have. I usually avoid her because she has never been one of my favorite dancers but sometimes it is unavoidable (as when one buys tix for a performance before casting is announced). I saw her the last weekend of NYCB’s fall season. She had what I consider an easy role in”Vienna Waltzes” and I thought looked terrible. I would have been very angry if I had paid a lot of money for the fall gala and had to see her in Symphony in C, a challenging role.
Also, the alleged insult by an NYCB board member may have been repeated by Ashley completely out of context. Has it occurred to you the conversation may have been initiated by Ashley, the “board member” may have been someone she considered a friend, even one of the NYCB supporters who have also provided financing for her company, the “Ashley Bouder Project?” All sorts of things are possible.
Exactly. All sorts of things are possible. From either side of the debate and supposed unfoldings. That’s why transparency, accountability and procedure are paramount. For all involved.
I agree. She looks horrible. And that’s a problem, because she is being paid to look good. NYCB won’t get a penny of my money when she’s on the casting sheet.
I am frankly disgusted by her teary Instagram posts. The first one was bad enough, but the second one, taking the time to carefully thank each and every supporter, as if this were the most important cause on earth, almost made me puke. The only time I want to puke more is when she posts about her daughter with the nausea-inducing hashtag “stormstyle”.
To a casual observer, watching these IG posts, you would think she was talking about something serious. In reality, she is talking about the travesty of having to sit out Symphony in C because she is no longer the best dancer for the role. I had to restrain myself from responding, “Give me an effing break.”
As a woman and a feminist, I am actually angry that Bouder is using her personal struggles to fight against body shaming. It’s like Michael Jordan fighting for the rights of 5’3″ men to play for the Chicago Bulls. Should we shame men for being short? No. But they don’t get to play professional basketball, either. And alternatively, if Michael Jordan wanted to be a jockey, he’d be rejected outright.
Same thing with ballet. Not having the right body type (which includes non-weight elements like good feet, turnout, flexibility, etc.) does not mean you are unworthy as a human being. It does mean you don’t get to dance for New York City Ballet. It’s not “ageism” and “body shaming” anymore than telling a 5’3″ guy he can’t play for the Bulls is ageism and body shaming. Ashley is not doing the feminist community any favors by combining her pity party with an important societal issue. Piggybacking off of the anti-body shaming movement to gain sympathy because she feels bad about gaining 10 lbs is a really crappy thing for her to do.
Thanks for your continued dialogue.
Though the language and rhetoric included personally offends me.
Some examples:
“she looks horrible”
“she is being paid to look good”
“made me puke”
“I want to puke”
“she is no longer the best dancer for the role”
“Give me an effing break.”
“not doing the feminist community any favors”
Considering the original piece was about the need for conscious, appropriate language and communication (in professional environments) it feels somewhat ironic.
I’m a believer in freedom of expression – but also compassion, empathy, humility and consideration.
And I’d argue that life, art and dance would be far less without the above four qualities.
You know what other words are strong?
“Aegism”
“Body shaming”
“WTF”
All direct quotes from Ashley Bouder.
Her language is just as inappropriate as mine.
If the short basket player was still a good player then they certainly should be able to play. The whole idea of making height a talent is stupid af.
The short basketball player may indeed be a “good player”. But there are almost certainly going to be other players – taller players – who are better. And if you are trying to win basketball games, you put the best players on the court. That’s the whole point.
Similarly, why should Ashley Bouder, at 15+ pounds overweight and losing her technique rapidly – get to dance, when there is a company full of dancers who can do it better? The audience deserves the very best NYCB has to offer. That’s what they are paying for. They put the best dancers for the part on stage, and an overweight, out of shape Ashley Bouder is no longer the best.
I really wonder why people body shame and all of that stuff that really shouldn’t exist. Christ.
Note Bouder apparently did not do her scheduled performance of Sugarplum Friday
Dec 2 and was replaced by Emilie Gerrity. I was not there and do not know what explanaton, if any, was given to the audience. She is also scheduled to dance Sugarplum this Weds Dec 5. As of now, she does not have any performances scheduled after this week
.
Actually, there is a mistake there. She is next scheduled to dance Sugarplum Weds Dec 7.
NYCB has issued revised casting for this week and Bouder is being replaced on Dec 7, again by Emilie Gerrity.
Also note fellow principal Sara Mearns did not dance as scheduled Dec 3, replaced by Unity Phelan.She will also not dance Dec 10. She is being replaced on Dec 10 by Emily Kikta.This will be a debut for Kikta.